Hi, I'm Petra and this is my weight loss/fitness blog.
I used to be on Weight Watchers from January 2011 to October 2012, dropping approximately 45 lbs. I've made the transition from unhealthy and unhappy to athlete and this is my journey to becoming a healthier, happier me. I frequently post about my exercise (mostly running, yoga and lifting), the foods I eat, recipes I liked and my daily struggles. You'll also find the occasional tree hugger post, (travel) photography or anything else I find worth remembering and collecting.
I follow most blogs back that follow me. However, I do stay away from blogs that promote EDs, unhealthy methods of weight loss or negative body image.
Feel free to say hi any time!
I don’t even know what brought on my earlier freak out. There’s been a lot on my mind and quite honestly, the last couple of days haven’t been easy for me. I feel like there’s so much information on nutrition out there, so many ways to fuck it up, that I just get overwhelmed, you know? At the end of the day, I just want to do it right.
I don’t want to harm myself by not eating enough or eating too much or eating the wrong things. Nutrition has stressed me lately. I second guess everything I eat. Was that good? Or bad? Do I need more of this or less? I don’t want to do this. I just want to learn again what feels right instead of overanalyzing anything and everything. I don’t want to have list of good foods vs. bad foods. Forget about the ten best foods for weight loss or these amazing
tastefree 100 calorie snacks. Forget about the homg, we need to drink ALL the green tea and eat ALL the celery. I want to feel like I’m living again.
I guess I’m scared of doing it wrong. Failing myself and letting myself down. I feel like I don’t know what’s wrong or right anymore.
I’m headed to my Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow and while I won’t be weighing in, I’ll attend the meeting and I plan on talking to my meeting leader about whether he thinks I’m not eating enough/too much/the wrong things. I know that Weight Watchers leaders are not nutritionists, but it’s a good starting point. I just want to stop feeling so overwhelmed.
Part of my anxiety attack earlier was also due to the fact that I’ve noticed my body image becoming poorer and poorer. I used to have a pretty good one. Right now, while I don’t hate the way I look - I really don’t - I’ve found myself becoming so critical of my body. It’s like every time I look at myself in the mirror, I’m searching for the flaws instead of the things that are pretty. I don’t want to scrutinize my body like this. That’s not what it deserves. My body is amazing and deserves to be treated with love and respect. Not with thoughts of not good enough, not skinny enough.
Someone’s still got a long way to go…